


Translucent Soul

by absouuru



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A Lot Of Puns, Angst, Dark, Depression, F/F, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader has no name, Reader is kinda smart, Suicide Attempt, cursing and swearing, fluff in later chapters, frisk lives with toriel in the ruins, monsters are not free, no post-pacifist route, reader is female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-08-10 06:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7833667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absouuru/pseuds/absouuru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You want to die. But unfortunately a bunch of monsters of the underground want you to stay by their side. Even if this means to be trapped like forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. False conclusions

**Author's Note:**

> My first Undertale-Fanfic. It started in the beginning of 2k16 but I needed half of a year to finally post it here.  
> Some parts of the story are related to my life and I needed to write some of them down, but dont worry. Everything is fine!  
> I just wanted to combine my thoughts with Undertale and how you would act in the Underground.  
> It's kinda new for me to write english fanfictions but I hope u like it and you are eager to read more.
> 
> I'll try to update frequently.  
> For more news and updating-stuff and my art you could visit my tumblr as well:  
> <http://absouuru.tumblr.com>
> 
> Comments, likes and everything else is gladly seen :D

It was cold and cloudy. Thick grey clouds were filling the sky and a harsh wind tried to sneak up into your black lether jacket. It seemed the weather didn't want to show any kind of emotion like the day itself.

You tried to ignore the aching pain in your heart while it was very hard to bear with the tears. Having cried a lot the last weeks, it was nearly impossible to share tears any longer.

Standing next to your big brother, you stared to the big hole in front of you. It was a rare sight lately to see you both together. You hadn't seen each other for years.

Having fixiated your eyes to the grave, you didn't had to look up and bear with all the other participants around you. Your own thoughts and feelings were enough to deal with. Why was this all happen? Why was all this shit gonna happen so fast and just within a few weeks? The tears were back too fast.

It was the funeral of your beloved mother. A beautiful woman in her best sixties. You loved her so much that your heart ached at the memory of her. Her laughing face when you told a joke. Her comforting after a bad day. She tried to encourage you with every important decision in your life. Whether the exchange to your current job or the confession to the love of your life. You shared with her everything and you were very glad that she cared. You thought she was happy too.

But this was the first one of your false conclusions.

You didn't noticed how much the death of your father several years ago had affected her. Both of you were grieving for a long time. Your grief lasted till the present day.

You thought you were the only one grieving so long. But you weren't.

She could pretend that everything was fine and you believed her because you trusted her. Her life seemed perfect even without your dad or you around.

You thought she was happy.

The mumbling words of the priest were just a mess for your ears and you didn't even tried to understand them or let them settle deep down into your heart. You tried to fight the tears and focus on your breathing.

Suddenly you felt a little nudge on your side. It was your brother who tried to get your attention. He was nodding to the deep hole where now was laying the coffin of your mother. Looking around shockingly you realized that everyone was waiting for you to step forward and say silently your last farewell. Hesitantly you stepped forward and fumbled with your white lily in your hands. It was one of her favorite flowers. You whispered your last 'I love you, mom' and finally let the flower slide on top of the coffin. Standing motionless at the side you watched more and more flowers covering your own little lily. Whispered apologies and encouraging words were hanging in the air but you ignored them. Everything was dark and dull. It seemed the hole in your heart was growing bigger. Leaving you with a hopeless feeling, it became harder to breath with every second. The thought of your now dead parents choked you and a tingling feeling were overwhelming you. This couldn't be the beginning of a hyperventilating right now. You hadn't one for years!

You needed to get away from this place very fast. The first steps were made and you were thankful that no one tried to keep you back. But things didn't want to go along with you today.

"Y/n, wait.."

The firm grip on your shoulder made it clear that you wouldn't get away so easily. You were led aside from the funeral to a quiter place where you wouldn't be disturbed so easily. The grip loosened and slowly you turned around to facing your brother. You tried to compose yourself when you were looking into his face.

First thing you noticed was, how well he could keep his countenance. You looked to no avail for some emotions, some tears, anything you missed already at your fathers funeral. But still your brother seemed to be as cold as ever. How dare he be such a gruesome idiot?

"I wanted to inform you about a need which is related to you in the near future. Or rather the next month." He never could speak to you like a normal person could he? Only his formal business like speaking shit. You were his little sister god damnit!

"Sure, what's up, bro? Is it because of the funeral costs? I'm sure I.."

"It's about mothers house." he cut you short with an assertive tone.

What did he want with your old home? Sure, you both have to discuss the further handling but today was your mothers funeral! Couldn't he wait till the next day?

Why was it so important to discuss this now?

The anger was boiling inside of you like a teapot and you had to calm down for now. Otherwise you would spit at him. He was such an insensitive douchebag.

"And why do we have to discuss this now? I hoped we could do this later?"

You spoke through your gritted teeth. This was definitely not the time to deal with. Your brother looked between a mix of annoyance and boredom like he hadn't the time and the nerves to deal with his little ignorant sister.

"Look, y/n. You have to clean up your old room within the next few weeks. And I really don't know or care about where you will store your belongings but at the end of the month you need to be done, okay? Otherwise it will be dumped."

"W..what? What do you mean with 'clean my room'? What are you talking about?" you asked him confused.

Why should you pack your things?

This was still your house!

"I sold it last week, directly after mothers death and it will be completely revised. You don't have to worry about it and we have no responsibilities anymore. You should be grateful for what I d..."

"THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?! THIS WAS OUR HOME!!" you screamed at him releasing all your boiled up anger.

He can't be serious! This was your lovely home where you lived so many years. Having lived a happy childhood. Where you had so many memories of your parents, so many wonderful shared moments. And all of them were falling apart just because of your brother?

This couldn't be true.

This have to be a misunderstanding.

You panted heavily, looking furios at this scum in front of you called your brother, waiting for a response.

"Don't you dare to yell at me like that. And watch your dirty mouth in front of our mother.."

"THE SHIT I WILL! It was not your fucking decision to sell the house! You're out of your mind!"

You were hysterical now. If you weren't on a graveyard, you would have punched him directly in the face. It was very hard to think straight anymore. So many things you wanted to throw at him, so many harsh words in your mind you wanted to spit at his shoes like venom.

But one of your weakness was about to ruin your outburst. You were a very emotional person and that's why you failed always to keep your anger up without tears. Thats the reason why the impact of your words were lowered to a minimum and no one would take you seriously anymore.

Your chest tightens again and your need for oxygen grows rapidly.

"Now, look at you. You couldn't change the outcome anyway. Just learn to stand on your own feet and not to break down so easily. Do you even have a plan for your miserable life? I doubt it."

"Shut up! Just.... shut up, okay? You know nothing about me and my life because you never cared! So dont judge about my shitty life, you fucking cheater.."

Tears were flowing down your cheeks, but you didn't care. Maybe you could get him a bit of a remorse, even a tiny bit. He should see with his own eyes what a mess you could be.

"You are ridiculous! Our parents would.."

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKER! JUST.. SHUT UP! I HATE YOU!"

And with these last words you were running. Running from the graveyard, ignoring the stares of the shocked participants and ignoring the shoutings from the man you called brother once. Away from all the shit that was clouding your mind right now.

You barely noticed where you were going or which path you choosed.

\----

After what seemed like a whole eternity you ended up in front of your old home.

Since moms death you kept one pair of keys with you just in case. Instinctively you strolled up the stairs to your room and sitting down against your bed. You didn't noticed how exhausted you really were.

This was too much to bear.

For the first time today you were alone and no one would disturb you and your breakdown. You let your tears and emotions break free and finally you were crying out loud. Shouting your frustration against the walls. Falling down to the ground and sobbing into your hands, crying hard over the loss of your both parents.

They never could comfort you again.

Never could sit together in the garden, enjoying the company of the others.

Never could tell them how much you loved them. Neither could they. This house was the last remnant of your parents. Built by your fathers own hands. Raised and lived for years, this was your home even after you had moved out.

You couldn't believe that this was the end. Everyone and everything you loved were ripped apart from you with a force you couldn't fight.

Everything was so meaningless right now.

Faintly you heard the ringing of your phone. Several times playing your tune and going silent again. Exhausted you looked up as the phone was ringing again. The caller was your brother. You let him wait for a while before answering the phone.

"What are you thinking leaving me like that? You're in big trouble, y/n!"

Wow.

More insulting and more 'Yeah, fuck you too'. He should known by now that you were really pissed and that his words meaning nothing to you.

"Okay, listen." He was sighing loudly and you could imagine him pinching his nose. "Let's talk about this later. Where were you hiding? And don't tell me you are at home, because this would be childish. Barricading would be meaningless." You waited. Waited for your turn.

"Ok, fine. I'll coming anyway and we will talk. I'm there in about 20 minutes. You will wait for me, understood?" Did he just commanded you to stay? How dare he!

"See you later." He really hadn't asked you anything or how you were feeling right now.

It was one of his great monologues and he didn't even noticed. Bracing yourself you interrupted him before he had the chance to hung up.

"Hey wait."

"Oh, are you up for some conv.."

"Listen." Cutting him of was such a relieve. "You cant order me around like your ass kissin' minions."

"Wh..."

"Shut your fuckin' yap! I am the one talking right now.", you banned him with clenched fists. You had enough of his bullshit.

"You' re totally right. I'm at our home right now. But I don't will wait for you.

You know what? I'd rather be dead as to see you ever again! You are such an asshole and a dirty liar! Go fuck yourself and let me alone! You want to sell this house? Fine! I'm no hindrance and you'll never see me again!

"And as I said: I'd rather be dead, DEAD, YOU HEAR ME? NOW FUCK OFF!" Smashing the button for hanging up, you panting hard. You didn't regret anything you said. You would scream them again and again.

Like fate would proove you wrong, your phone was ringing again. Grabbing it firmly you saw who was calling but you shut it down immediately.

He couldn't be serious!

You had definitely enough of this bullshit, but lingering around wouldn't help you right now. Furious like a raging bull you grabbed on of your bags, stuffing it blindly with random things. You took one of your spray cans, shaking it wildly for preparing. Hesitating for a short moment, you looked around.

"I'm sorry..." you apologized with aching heart to the house. To your dad. But you promised to recap your words in any case of need.

\----

Woking up all of a sudden you needed some time to recognize where you were. Looking drowsily out of a window, you seeing the landscape passing by. You were sitting in some vehicle you assumed. Rubbing your eyes and stretching your body, you tried to figure out your current location.

You remembered taken a bus out of town, but you didn't recognized this landscape. This was wooded and hilly. Not the flat, cultivated town you knew. Your were definitely out of town. Farther away as you thought.

The bus was driving slower, made a U-turn and stopped abruptly.

"Hey ya miss, we're at the terminal stop now so please alight here. There is no return until tomorrow morning. Have a nice evening!"

The bus driver turned around and waited for your alighting. With a dull feeling in your stomach you scurried out of the bus into the mild air. In the distance you saw what looked like a mountain. Walking to your new desitination, you tramped through fields and a little forest until you were at the foot of the mountain.

Following a path you kicked absentely some little rocks, not realizing the setting sun. Staying on the track was getting harder and harder and you had to climb some parts too. This was really some workout! You decided to had some rest so you leaned against a bigger boulder and checked your phone.

No missed calls. No SMS. Nothing. Not even from a really good friend of yours. He thought you were at the funeral right? And that you need your time right? So it was obvious, that there was no need to care about you right now.

Why should he?

You felt miserable. You were alone on some fucking mountain without some essential goods. And no one knows where you at right now. Not even yourself.

Embracing your knees you thought about your life. The friends you once had.

Maybe you should just text someone about your current location. And maybe got some advice or a different view for your situation. You were a mess and you really want some attention right now. Someone who cared just a bit.

You scrolled through your adress list and found two names, who were worth a try. You sending a SMS both your ex and the friend of yours, who was rather a crush, with similar content like 'Can we talk? I'm feelin' a bit miserable right now...' . Waiting for a response you shifted slightly and tried to warm you up. It was getting darker and colder at the same time.

Your hope for a response were faltering with every minute.

Staring at your phone, tears were welling up in your eyes and a lump forming in your throat.

So they were not caring at all. Kinda sad, huh?

Your vision became blurry as you felt some vibration in your loose fingers. Wiping your tears you unlocked your screen to saw a text message from your ex, which said 'Good to hear, don't feelin the need to talk to you right now'

A bit shocked you read the message over and over again. Was this the outcome of your once so happy past?

Some flashbacks coming up in your mind where both of you had some happy moments together. But were replaced very soon with your breakup and the time you both were fighting about everything.

Tears were welling up again and you started texting him back angrily as you received another message. It was your friend. He had definitely some kind words of caring and worrying for you. You both were really close and enjoying time with the other.

Although you had some feelings for him, you were very uncertain of his feelings towards you. You saw some attempts in the past for sure. You really were sure about that!

'hi.. sorry a bit busy right now. don't feelin well too. maybe we could talk later'

Your phone clattered onto the hard ground, covered with tears.

As you read the text you were first worrying for him but changed into self-hatred and despair within seconds. WHY WAS EVERYONE HATING YOU AND DIDN'T GIVE DAMN SHIT?

The day was more than fucked up already and now no one even TRIED to care about you? Why was everyone just so fucking heartless? You cared for them all and helped them through their own hard times. And this were their returning feelings? This crap?

Why was no one loving you?

Crying full of hate and because of your stupid feelings you crouched on the ground and tried to get rid of your feelings.

This was enough! You couldn't stand this shit anymore!

Everyone you loved were gone now, resting in peace forever. No one cared about you and your shitty life. You were just a meaningless creature, full of hate and pain. With no rights to live any longer.

Your heart was aching like someone stabbed you.

You couldn't breath.

Everything around you just vanished in some blurry mess.

"Please...let me go. Just let me die already. PLEASE!", you cried out loud. You suffered long enough and you can't bear the pain anymore. It was too much.

You tried to get up and stumbled into a little dent of the mountain. Steadying yourself at the sharp walls you stumbled through the small dent. As you stepped further you found the edge of a big hole. Through your swollen eyes you saw the blackness at your feet. You really didn't cared how deep this was and if you would survive this. You cared about no one as well and everyone should go to hell who fucked up your life. You just wanted to see your mum and dad very soon...

Seen the enviting emptiness, you leaned forward to accept your fate.

Feeling weightless, you blacked out eventually.

You felt no impact.


	2. Just a matter of time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really short term update, because I already finished this chapter lately. The next update is planned this weekend, maybe not until next week.  
> But thanks for reading and your support x3 
> 
> Since the first chapter was just some sort of prologue, this one is somewhat longer.  
> The real adventure in the Underground begins now. Have fun....  
> or rather not? Who knows.

You woke up in darkness. Darkness in his purest form where you couldn't see anything.

Similar to your wakeups at night, you were kind of unoriented right now.  
You tried to recognize what happened and with every passing second, everything came back slowly.

'Oh yeah... fallen down a hole and dying. One of your greatest ideas so far.'

Trying to discover your surroundings, you looked around but seeing nothing than black.   
Was this supposed to be heaven or hell because of this emptiness?

You thought you got to a nice and bright place without fear and harm.  
A place where you could live peacefully your afterlife.  
Where all the dead people exist.  
Well.. not kind of a zombie movie but more like angels in an inviting world. Full of joy and happiness and..

'Don't kidding yourself and stop this nonsense.  
Does this emptiness looking like some kind of happy place to you?'

Right. There was nothing at all.

Nothing but black.

You can't either see yourself. Or felt anything. Not even pain or hurting injuries of your fall. That's the reason why you have to be dead.  
But did you ever considered this poor outcome?

Near-dead-explorers talked always about a bright light. But as you could see, here was nothing than blackness.

"As you could _see_..." You chuckled for yourself for this lame pun.  
"Maybe I should keep my death _dark_.. like a _dark_ secret. I really don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm literally _in the dark_..." These puns were ridiculous right now but you couldn't resist. Even when you're dead. And alone.

A distant deep chuckle echoed through the darkness and freaked you out immediately.

WHAT THE HELL?

Hectically you looked around to find the owner of this voice even if it was kind of hopeless.  
But you heard the voice few seconds ago right? So you weren't alone in this darkness!

Nervously you looked around again trying to find the source of the sound, listening in the darkness for several minutes.  
But you heard nothing but silence and found nothing but darkness.

Did you imagined this voice? In a desperate attempt to have some company?  
But you didn't recognized this voice and you hadn't heard it before.  
Your enthusiasm was fading away very fast and were replaced by a dull feeling.

Was your mind going crazy right now?  
Was this your personal hell after all?

Everything you hated was now engulfing you.

Darkness and Loneliness.

Creeping into your head like some fog and blurry your mind.  
Why did you have thoughts anyway? Shouldn't you be dead and completely annihilated? Why was your mind still existing? Were you trapped here forever?

Angst was controlling your mind and was seeping through your whole being. It seemed to possess you and in your earlier days this would be the beginning of an hyperventilation right now. Your head was spinning and you couldn't think straight anymore.

Why was this happening? Just because of some freaky imagined voice?

A dull pain spread through your head like a slowly forming headache. But the pain got stronger with every passing second.

This can't be heaven or even hell... This shouldn't be... this is not supposed to be!

The pain captured you in the fullest. Like someone or something was slowely crushing your head. Crushing it to little pieces while your consciousness witnessed this act in horror without avail to escape. It was claustrophobic. Your fear was choking you and you could barely breath.

You did the only reasonable thing.  
You screamed.

"STOP IT!"

You cringed and snapped your eyes open, breathing heavily.

Looking at some kind of cave-ceiling, you recognized your laying position. For a second you were just laying down and trying to process your last experience but several thoughts flowed through your mind at the same time.

First you noticed that you weren't dead yet.

Second you could feel parts of your body again because the pain shot through your body like an electrical shock.  
Groaning in pain you noticed with your third thought that you were lying on something soft.

Rolling over to your side you felt something soft tickling your face and you saw yellow petals around you. Weren't you in your current condition, you would be happier about your bed of flowers.  
But your whole body was aching and you had done anything for some painkillers, but unfortunately you didn't owned any at the moment.

The pain was incredible and you weren't able to locate your injuries. Trails of tears you couldn't control were running down your face. You were rolling back and forth, trying to calm down yourself. Concentrating on your breathing you were able to settle down for a bit, even if it was hard to think straight.

You were supposed to be dead and now you were lying in some cave on some flowers and have to bear with violent pain. After this realization hit you, more tears started to run down your skin and you cried silently.

You tried to quit your life and failed.

You weren't dead yet and you hadn't plan B. But living was out of question. In your current position was it meaningless even if you tried.  
To fall down a hole seemed the easiest way to do so but this plan failed miserable.  
Now you have to find another way to die and you really don't care about your life anymore.  
Your death was just a matter of time and it's the only escape from your fucked-up life.

The most reasonable way would be to sit it out and die of starving or thirst. But this could be a very long and painful way and you just wanted it to be quick and with less suffering. It should be done in a blink of an eye.

That's why you had to figure out something else by wandering around through this dark cavern.  
Maybe you find another, deeper hole this time or some vicious animal or whatever-will-cross-your-way-and-is-determined-to-end-your-life.

Trying to be steady again and calm down your breathing, you sit up carefully but groaned in pain immediately. A sharp pain shot through your upper part of your body and let you cringe. Breathing was getting harder and every breath was short and painful.  
Ignoring the pain you struggled with your feet to stand up. Leaning on your left foot you tried to shift your weight on the right but were abruptly stopped with another sharp pain.

"Shit!" You cursed and hold your ankle. A sprained ankle could complicate your exploring-tour significantly. What a great start for your journey.

After some attempts, you managed to stand on your feet. A bit shaky but you hold your balance without falling over. Forced by your own stubborness you managed to move forward and took some weary steps, while trying to ignore the unbearable pain. You were sure that you broke or sprained different parts of your body besides your ankle. You felt that your body was laced with bruises and cuts as well.

The only pain you couldn't explain was your lingering headache. The pain was stronger on your left temple and didn't lessen while you were strolling through this weired cave. You would take care of that later.

Walking through this dim cave wasn't fun at all. Especially while dragging your foot along. You barely could see anything but you got a hold onto a cold wall which leads your way. Much to your surprise the surrounding area was getting brighter very soon. You reached an old looking entrance with unknown symbols, which led you to some sort of ruins. Maybe you found the entrance to an old and long-lost civilization?

Everything seemed old as well as preserved at the same time. Walls were covered with something similar to ivy and on your way you found with red leaves covered segments. Even some little water-streams were crossing your way.

Following some kind of path in front of you, you looked curious but weary at the same time around you. Some parts of these ruins were looking kind of strange and every floor and passage seemed to built for a specific purpose you didn't knew yet.  
Despite this odd silence you were calm and not anxious in the slightest. Everything seemed abandoned and left behind.

After a while you came to a short passage covered with those red leaves you've seen before. During your way through this place you lost your sense of time and you couldn't recap how long you were walking already. But your exhaustion forced you to a halt and those soft leaves were a good opportunity to rest and gain some energy.

Leaning on the wall and trying to sit down slowly, you hissed under the pain as you bend down but were glad for this soft carpet made of leaves.

Leaning against the cold wall was such a relief and eased the pain in your head a bit.  
You closed your eyes and tried to distract yourself from the pain.

'How was this supposed to happen anyway? Kinda ragequit, huh?'

Ragequit. Yeah. But unfortunately this wasn't some kind of game you could restart and fix your mistakes.  
You had to deal with every action you made. And you couldn't revive your party members after a hard bossfight.

Or revive every other person you loved once.  
Everything was final.

Tears were beginning to well up in your eyes and about to run down your cheek as you thought about everyone you loved once.

No one could help you. You have to deal with your feelings alone.  
Your heart had lost everything within a short time. Clutching every string of hope, loss after loss, this hope slipped slowly apart until there wasn't anything to hold on.

Along with your heart you lost your faith and trust.  
And along with this empty hole in your soul you lost your will to live.

An aching pain was spreading deep inside of your heart. Nothing could ease it and it was just too overwhelming. You wanted to rip it apart, clutching your chest, screaming into nothingness, but nothing was helping. The pain wouldn't leave you for your whole life.

Why should you live any longer when you lost everything? You have no one to care for. And no one was caring about you and your shitty life.

Everything seemed just too meaningless.

You opened your eyes and stared with a blurry vision to the ceiling.

"Why did you hate me so much? Why did I have to go through this painful shit? And why did you let me alive? TELL ME!" You screamed the last part, which echoed through the halls but was soon followed by your sobbing.

This wasn't fair. Why did you have to bear with your life? There was nothing left and nothing could ever change that.

You should end your life instantly to escape from this suffering but you were weak. Too weak to end it in person. You were a coward and you knew from the beginning that you couldn't do it even if you tried. The first attempt was rather a panic act than a planned suicide. You never would experience such a feeling again.

And yet you were sobbing over your miserable life and unbearable pain.  
"Someone should just shoot or stab me offhand. This would be the easiest way."

While you were drowning in self-pity some leaves were rustling in front of you. You flinched immediately and groaned from pain because of this abrupt motion. You glanced to the source of the sound but didn't saw anything at first except for some widespreaded leaves. You followed their path to a corner not far away and looked suddenly in a pair of big eyes. A pair of big widen eyes.

"What the...?!" You spoke out loud and made an attempt to get away fast, but your sprained ankle was hindering you and now you were crawling back instead, hissing under the pain.

Those big eyes seemed to be shocked too but the owner was not hiding any longer behind the corner. And you had full sight to a frog.  
Or rather a very big toad.  
Why were this toad so damn big?

You stopped in your tracks. Was this toad sweating?

"Y..you are a.. a.. a human, aren't you?" The toad whispered unsure and it looked like it fidget with his hands as it spoke.

Wait.

It.. spoke to you?  
Your eyes widen with realization.

"YOU SPOKE TO ME! HOLY GOD!"

You were immediately on your feet, the pain forgotten for a second.

Now it was the toads turn to widen their eyes. Sweating heavily his color turned a bit lighter and it was shaking violently. Slowly it moved back.  
It's following scream was piercing your ears.

"AN ADULT HUMAN! OH NOO!!"

This noise was too loud and shrill and you tried to shield your ears. While doing so the frog was disappearing into the ruins with a blink of an eye.

"W...wait! Please wait!" You tried to hold the toad back but you had no chance.  
After the echoed scream died down, the halls were quiet again and you needed a second to process this strange meeting.

You met a toad.  
A toad bigger than every froggy creature you had met in your entire life.  
And it was able to speak to you. Or you were able to understand it.

You hit your head within your fall definetely too hard for your likings.  
Dreaming and being dead was out of question because you wouldn't feel the pain you felt right now.  
After your adrenalin was seeping away, every little injury of your body was reminding you persistent of that fact.

But what place had you fallen into? This speaking or rather screaming toad had left you a bit speechless and you weren't so curious now what encounters you will meet in the future along this path.

Even though it would be a great opportunity to fulfill your deathwish, you weren't to keen to linger here any longer as well. Who knows what kind of creature were attracted by this scream and was now making it's way up to you in this second...  
You wanted to die, but not ripped apart or eaten alive by some freaking fucking monster!

Wasting no time you were following the path onward and despite your fear to encounter some different creature on your way, it was very quiet. Only every now and then you heard some rustling and whisperings behind you which gave you some creeps and encouraged you to sped up a bit. Even if this meant to worsen your already sprained ankle.

Following the path you passed some sort of traps or puzzles but everything seemed to be solved or annulled as if no one would expect some intruders anymore.

'Well, and here I am...'

For some time you were sure that something or someone followed you. No one could trick your sixth sense. Not even a bunch of weird creatures.

Reaching a corner you looked behind you because on your way you sweared to have seen a shadow now and then. You were too concentrated to look out for the shadow than looking out for the path in front of you.

You hit your foot at something lying on the ground and let you stumble. You tried to steady yourself but during this act, you tripped over another hindrance and were now closing in on the ground.  
Waiting for the impact, you tried to cover yourself but were surprised as you fell into a pile of leaves.  
Red leaves were scattered everywhere and covered you completely with a rustling sound.

'Well, this was kinda unexpected...'

Slowly struggling to your feet, you leaned on something rough. It felt like a bark but trees in a cavern or in ruins were a bit unnatural, wouldn't you think?

You looked up and your sense didn't tricked you of course.  
In front of you stood a thick black tree. And it was bald.  
All of his leaves were lying on the floor and absorbed your impact.

You stroke over the bark. It was such a wonder that a tree like this could live down here. Even when it looked very sad. As if the tree lost the will to live too...just like you.  
Still you were very glad for the cushioning bed of leaves.  
'Hm.. maybe it's your hidden power to fall on leaves or petals now and then...'

As you thanked him silently you registered something from the corner of your eye. In front of you along your path were a building or rather something like a small residence.  
It was made with the same material similar to the ruins. Thus you didn't noticed it earlier.

You weren't sure whether you should enter this building or not. It looked neither welcoming nor hostile. But there was no other option for you as to follow this path.

"Curiosity killed the cat..." You mumbled while strolling to the entrance and were greeted by a huge door. To your surprise it wasn't locked and you didn't really cared for politely knocking. The door opend with a low creaking and you found yourself in a normal looking entrance.

"...but satisfaction brought it back..." You whispered astonished.

Discovering a fully functional establishment was nothing you would had expected. You discovered a staircase leading downstairs, a bookcase, an indoor plant...  
You took a step back and looked back. You saw the tree with his red leaves on the ground. Nothing changed. You didn't left this place through some gate to another universe. It was just implausible but you had do deal with it. Not that you were complaining!

You were curios where the residents were right now. Judging from the size of the door, the residents were a lot bigger than this frog. Hopefully your meeting would be satisfying.  
To be killed instantly would be very welcoming than be tortured and suffering for a long time.

A shiver ran down your spine at this thoughts. Your heart sped up quickly along with a lump forming in your throat. Everything felt itchy right now.

You weren't able to give account for this feeling but you were unsure if you want to encounter someone in this unknown house. Maybe you could sneak through it without be seen. Hopefully there was an other exit.

A crackling and very familiar noise was sounding from the left room and got your attention quickly.

You followed it carefully trying to be quiet at the same time and watching your surroundings with every step. Peeking into the room you discovered an old-looking living room with a fireplace and a very vivid fire dancing in it. That was definitely the proof that someone lived here. And probably not far away...

The tickling feeling was replaced by goosebumps immediately. Your head was prickling and your hands were a bit sweaty. As if your whole body wanted to warn you about something. Your were always very sensitive regarding to your surroundings or people who were very close to you. You could tell at once if someone was upset or in a bad mood.

Or if something was wrong.  
And this was no difference.

If this was kind of bad horror movie your expected resident was already behind you, breathing into your neck and waiting for you to turn around.

You hold your breath and closed your eyes to sense some presence behind you or if your mind was tricking you again. You heart was beating fast and you could hearing your blood-streams in your ears, which wasn't helping right now. But you needed to know. Oh jeez...

'Now or never!'

With a jump back or rather a hop because of your ankle you turned around to look into nothingness. Looking furios around, you wanted to make sure that no one was hiding behind your back. But no one was in this room besides you and the crackling fire.  
Relieved and slowing down your heartbeat you felt certain that no one was around right now and that you could continue your exploration.

You found a kitchen as well but were too excited and distracted to look into the fridge for some food. Who needed to eat when you were about to die anyway?

You made your way back to the entrance and peeked to the stairs. Would it better to explore the corridor in front of you or was the staircase a better option?

You really had no time to quarrel over some unimportant decisions. It was a fifty-fifty chance and you would face the consequences no matter what.

With a short glimpse into the corridor you saw several doors which could lead you into hope or despair.  
You considered that you don't want to know the stories behind these doors and turned around to follow your path downstairs.  
Hopping down the stairs and leaning on the railing wasn't a fun endeavor. Not in the slightest along with the aching parts of your body.

Finally you reached the basement and you were greeted by a really cold and unwelcoming feeling. It was quiet the opposite to the warm and inviting feeling above.

Bracing yourself you tried to ignore the cold and continued strolling through the hallway.  
This way was very stretched and with every passing meter an invisible force seemed to prevent you from progressing any further. You felt uneasy and your nerves were tense but your curiosity was steady and led your way through this hallway.

The path made a turn to the left and the previous depressing feeling vanished slowly, but were replaced by cold. None the less the sight of another huge door warmed you up at once. Breathing out relieved, you noticed that you had held your breathing for a short period of time.  
This door in front of you looked like more an exit than a door to another living room. Now your excitement and curiosity went along and you had to admit that you were glad that you didn't encounter someone on your way through this house.  
You could continue your way through this strange place to look out for your personal final destination.

A bit exhausted you leaned against the door to gather some strength. This door looked heavy and you needed every remained strength to open it.  
You pulled yourself together and pushed your shoulder against the door.

"Stop right now!"

Something hot and loud exploded near your face at the door before you even could react to the voice. You stumbled back immediately and covered your face with your hands.

After falling painful down on your butt you looked bewildered to the place of impact. Some fiery glow was still lingering on the door but you couldn't spot some scratches or burns.  
But the unharmed door wasn't your prime target right now and shouldn't be either.

You looked out for the culprit for this mess and were greeted by a non-credible sight.

In front of you a few steps away stood a creature similar to a goat. It was standing on two legs like you and wore a violet tunika with a big emblem which somehow looked familiar.

But you were more interested in this goat-woman in front of you. It's appearance looked more innocent as it's behaviour right now. White fur, big eyes and a motherly appearance wouldn't fit a mass murder would it?

And of course this furry-goat-woman had talked to you.

Looked like you had fallen into some kind of monsterworld after all.  
Great. You had the chance to enter a dragon world but unfortunately you fall into a world with giant frogs and furry women. Could it be worse?

The goat in front of you looked a bit exhausted and was trembling. It was difficult to tell whether she was scared or preparing her next attack. But you were certain that her next fireball wouldn't miss it's target.

Both of you were staring into the eyes of the opposite, waiting for a response or act. You felt the air around you getting more tense and every wrong move could be your last.

'Hm, interesting. Maybe I could use this to my advantage...'

You felt your hands nervously shaking while your breathing sped up but you didn't risked any move yet.

The goat woman shifted a bit to examine you better and you saw a flash of realization scurrying over her face.

"You are a human."

It was a statement, not a question.  
You were about to answer but she cut you off in an instant.

"And it seems that you are an adult."

She spoke more to herself than you but her voice betrayed her current behaviour. It seemed she was overthinking this situation and if she should kill you right away or not.  
You wanted to respond something but instead you sat stiff against your only escape.

'Wait. You had other plans right?'

"Do you intend to harm someone?"  
Your thoughts were interrupted harshly by her determined voice.  
This was an interesting turn of circumstances now. You had done nothing than cowering on the floor since your meeting and now she assumed that you want to harm someone.  
You would have had laughed loudly due to this question how ridiculous it was because it was YOU who wanted to be harmed...badly.

"Uhm...actually..." You began but suddenly the goat woman looked furiously and let some flames dancing in her palms.

"Please be honest! I am the guardian of these ruins and you are not allowed to go through this door before you told me your true intentions and received my judgment!"

Startled because of this sudden change of mood you tried to compose yourself. You didn't intended to sound amused but this whole situation was too messed up.  
Of course you wouldn't harm someone. Not some monsters you met recently or other creatures. Even humans were out of question even though some should be burning in hell. You were a pacifist after all.

But these circumstances required some drastic changes to receive your goal. You have to be a threat now. Maybe your experience in those shooter games were helping you out today. Technically you killed hundreds of foes and other players, who feared you in pvp-sessions. This could be some advantage.

Getting up slowly you tried to straigthen up, but your sides were aching too much why you hold a crouched position. But this didn't mattered right now because you were about to get your desired effect. Maybe this looked even better. More viciously.

"What if my intentions are bad? What exactly are you supposed to do? Kill me instantly? Did you even realized yet what I'm capable of?"  
You didn't expected your mocking and provoking tone. It should have been only a bit sarcastic. Now this could be a remarkable speed-up for your plans.

The furry goat looked taken aback for a second as if you questioned her whole being and personality. A feeling of an unspoken misunderstanding was lingering around and you couldn't helped but to feel a bit sorry for your rudeness.

She was hesitating for now, looking a mix between sadness and pity but composed herself very quickly and it seemed she was considering her next words carefully.

"I can sense your trembling soul very well which is contrary to your spoken words. And souls do not lie. Never." You hadn't expected her calm words. Plus it seemed she was rather speaking to herself again. Within her last words you thought you had seen something similar to disappointment in her eyes. But your stressed mind could trick you again.

"But..." Her voice was full of determination now. "...maybe a fight should solve our misunderstanding here and your soul will tell me for sure what you are hiding!"

Powerful magic was surrounding her and not only your excitement and fear was given you goosebumps all over your body. Her strong appearance was amazing you and you could feel the radiance of her magic spreading the whole hallway. It was similarly warming as well as frightening. Did you pushed her too hard? An abyss seemed so much inviting all of a sudden.

You waited for her attack, for a final blow. It was a strange and indescribable feeling to know that you will die now. Will you finally see your parents again? Will you feel anything at all? Will you die immediately or will you suffer and crying out of pain?

Adrenalin shot through your veins and everything was screaming to run away but you couldn't. You couldn't because you were willing to accept your fate.

And to accept your fate you had to push your luck a bit why you blurted out your next words blindly. "Come and get me!"

You didn't knew what to expect from this female goat, but the next action was nothing you ever would have expected.

Standing right in front of you she pointed towards you with her paw. Or rather your heart. At first nothing else was happening and you thought you missed something important. You were about to step up to her but suddenly you were stopped in your tracks with an unvisible force. Every muscle of you was unmovable, you were stucked!

Only your eyes were movable and you looked shocked to the goat. This state lastet only a few seconds because you felt something tugging at your heart followed by a feeling of pulling out. This feeling was something similar to a punch in your stomach. You were immediately breathless and unable to move. It was so intense that you fell gasping to your knees.

'What was this shit? You hadn't expected such a magical attack. She should use her fire magic instead!'

While you trying to get some air into your aching lungs you wanted to scream furiously at her to finally kill you. You were about to freak out because of this unwanted feeling and you looked up to give her some of your mind.

As you were about to do so you spotted something small floating in front of you. You barely could saw it, but it had a heartlike shape and looked very light and fragile. It looked like it could just shatter by a tip of your finger.

You were completely occupied by this appearance and something deep inside you were attracted as well. A strange force was pulling you to this heart, like it was calling out for you.

You barely heard the gasp from the goat-woman in the distance. You were completely mesmerized.  
Looking closer you discovered not only some scratches all over the thin body of the heart. There was also a colorless dim shimmer around. This shimmer was the only reason why you could even barely saw it and why you didn't saw the obvious of this appearance at first.

It was completely translucent.

Was this the soul the lady talked earlier about? You really wanted to know the feeling of touching it then.  
You reached out and the warm feeling inside you was raising very quick. Your fingertips were prickling full of sensation. You were about to grab it as you felt the pressure laying on you faded suddenly. It lasted just a second but long enough to startle you.

You found yourself on the ground still with an outstretched arm. Realizing that you were able to breathing normally again, you looked irritated for the little heart. But it was nowhere be found.

"What the hell? What happened just now?"

You tried to sit up and were baffled as you saw instead of the heart the woman kneeing on the floor. She was shaking and.. were those tears falling down?

After standing barely upright you hold your side because of your aching ribs. They were hurting after all and the fall didn't helped your healing process either. Breathing hard you felt your exhaustion seeping through your whole body. This was kinda too intense for your own good.

"W..Who are you? Why are you...? W...what is the meaning of this?"

You heard her teary and cracking voice. Rather speaking to herself than you.

Was this the end of the fight? Shouldn't the goat-woman attack you right now? Why was she so desperate all of a sudden? And why the heck weren't you dead yet?

"What's with you old lady? We were in a fight right now! You are supposed to attack me or explore my soul..or..or whatever you were up to! Otherwise I will... I will..hurt you instead! Badly!" You screamed at her. She couldn't be serious right now! "Fight me, god damn!"

You stared her down while she was looking right into your eyes. Big tears were flowing down her white fluffy cheeks. Why was she crying? Nothing was making sense right now. Or she wasn't the coldhearted guardian you credited her.  
Maybe she was your last chance to fulfill your deathwish. But this chance was now fading in those thick tears...

She hadn't responded to you yet. No words escaped her and you were getting more impatient. You glanced behind you. Your last chance was now the world behind this door which was awaiting you.  
This encounter with the goat woman was you now getting nowhere. She couldn't harm you and you were wasting time.

You sighed and turned around to the door.

"F..Fine. You aren't gonna harm me, are you? Then it's time for me to leave this place. I'll find someone else." You whispered the last part.  
You reached for the door.

"NO!" You heard the woman yell. It sounded pleading and desperate.

"Please. Please don't go through this door! I saw your soul... you.. you can't survive in this world. Especially alone! Please.... let me help you."

WIth one last look you glanced behind you. The goat lady was still crying and reaching out for you. You thought about her words for a second but she couldn't help you. No one could.  
Your destination was now laying behind this door.

"Maybe... I don't wanna be saved. Maybe I want to NOT survive.... I'm sorry."

And with your last words you pushed against the door with all your strength. It was surprisingly easy to do so and the door opened slowly but steady. An undescribable light was reaching out for you and were blinding you, nevertheless you stepped forward into a new world.


	3. Conclusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Update within a week..."  
> Huh. Now we were hitting the seventh month mark....
> 
> I'm sorry for that. At least I could write down several notes and I'm at chapter 12 now. In theory. Need to write them down properly. Pimping and stuff.  
> I was quite missing to write my story so maybe this is a new start and all.
> 
> This chapter is kinda short compared to the other two. But maybe I will continue this length. Let's treat the first chapters as some kind of prologue then :)

You stood for several minutes at the same place. Stunned and wide eyed you looked at a totally snowed in area or rather a forest with a little path through it. You thought that nothing could amaze you after your last encounters but who could expect a freezing cold winter area after old looking ruins. Especially...  
You looked above.  
You were still in a cave because you could see the ceiling.  
And it was snowing.  
In a cave.

You huffed and the little cloud of your warm breath was fading quickly.  
It was amazing and shocking at the same time. No science could explain this. And maybe there was nothing to explain. You encountered a goat woman earlier and you were not dead. Maybe you should except this strange world with all of its curiosities. At least for now.  
You couldn't waste any more thoughts about it for your own good.

  
It was cold. Fucking freakin cold and you had to get you warm. Fast!  
Warming up your fingers with your breath you looked around. There was nothing than the forest and a path leading forward into nothingness. You couldn't saw the end of it because it was leading into the dark forest. And behind you were the ruins you were coming from. Your options were really limited.  
Unfortunately your clothing were limited too and they weren't fitting for this environment and you hadn't packed something warm because...  
...why should you? Why should you have packed warm clothes when you wanted to die anyway?

You leaned heavenly against the ruins door.  
'Don't complain. You wanted it that way.', you tried to ease your mind.  
Yeah, right. Nevertheless you would give anything for your big and fluffy grey hoodie right now. Which you had worn whenever you needed something comforting. Something to cuddle with. Something to keep you warm.  
It was your favourite piece.  
And it was a gift from your father. His last gift to you actually since he...

You felt a heavy lump forming in your throat and your heart was aching again. With a hurting pain following right after.  
You were so sick of this! All these painful feelings every time you fall into these thoughts. Fighting against it was useless and you really didn't want to deal with this anymore. You had to deal with them long enough and you can't stand it any longer.  
You were breaking apart. With every painful memory your heart got a deeper cut until it would be a shattered mess some day.

You don't want to forget or got rid of your beloved parents but your grief was annihilating you and without them the whole world seemed meaningless. You tried to go on, live forward and have a normal life. But your thoughts would wander back to them. A specific word, a song or just a glance around your old home was needed to lead you in a deep depression full of sorrow and grief.

Tears were already falling silently as your thouhgts were travelling back to their laughing faces and lovely embraces when you have seen each other after a long time.  
And your thoughts were back in the past as you spoke to them for the last time. As you knew that your next words would be your last. Forever. And how you struggled with your words because what where you about to say to someone who raised you, loved you and were about to die? What could you say to express your feelings, that you were grateful what they did for you even if you argued sometimes or had a fight? What would you tell them exactly? You had just one chance.

Your feet couldn't hold you anmore and you were sliding down the huge door behind you until you were sitting in the snow.

Were your words enough back then? You had so much more to say. You wanted to apology for every stupid move you had made. You wanted to tell them that you loved them so much even when you hadn't showed it all the time. You were grateful for every advice even when you ignored them.

You couldn't control your sobbing anymore but it didn't mattered.  
Maybe it was a good thing that you came across this hostile environment. Sitting here and waiting for your death was the best way how you could end your miserable life.

After some minutes and a lot of cried tears, you tried to pull yourself together, just for a bit. Leaning against the huge door you watched the path in front of you with a clouded mind. You barely could see the end of it and the forest around you was dark and unwelcoming. There was a little chance that some forest residents would kill you anyway when you went further. Either that way or death by hyperthermia.  
Maybe the latter was the better choice because the last residents weren't as hostile as you had wished. They seemed more afraid of you than everything else. The chance to get killed was very low then. But maybe this huge door prevented the bad guys to kill the soft ones?  
'Maybe I'll get never the chance to prove this...' Thoughtfully you looked to the cavern ceiling and watched silently the slowly falling snowflakes.

The more you watched them the more you were aware of the quietness. There was no noise from animals nor from wind and rustling branches.  
It was reminding you of the past as you were sitting on a snowed hill near the house in the night. You had some time left before you needed to go to bed and decided to watch the stars. But instead of stars you watched snowflakes falling to the ground and the snow muted every sound. As if no one existed beside you.

The thought of sitting here, watching the slow falling snow and hopefully falling asleep peacefully sometime without pain was quite satisfying. The option to die because of hyperthermia was definetely better and more successful right here.

After a while you sat down again and watched silently the snowflakes. Surely it was really quite. Like a dead end. An end where maybe no one would find you here. You would silently fall asleep and get covered by a thick layer of snow. Buried in a cave under snow. Forever.  
Alone.  
But that would be okay. As long as you can be with your lovely parents again and live a happy afterlife.  
You would consider this risk any time again.

Your life was a mess and there was nothing that could prevent you to take this path.  
Check.

And your future? You let your eyes wander around. Even if you get out of this cave alive – what a silly thought – you had nothing that was worth to live for. A job that was rather stressful than fun and you had put enough energy into this without even getting complimented. Either someone else took credit for your hard work with many hours of overtime or they said nothing in particular and got you another project to work with. Even in your freetime and in your holidays they couldn't resist to contact you and were kinda pissed when you excused yourself to have some private time. And got some fishy talks with your team leader afterwards.  
Your colleagues were kinda nice and you liked them a lot but they couldn't help you with this task either. And they were just colleagues. Nothing more.

Other friends which would be eagerly awating your return or kinda worried where you have been? Psch. Yeah. As if. Even you as a lonely wolf had some friends but they ditched you, turned towards other with different more suitable interests. When you don't move on, they wouldn't wait for you.

So, something important in your life that is worth fighting for?  
Nope.  
Check.

Somehow this was a relief. Nothing to worry about anymore. You closed your eyes and absorbed the surrondings.  
It was really quite. As this was silence herself.  
'A very lonely and sad silence', you stated.  
But this didn't mattered right now. The only thing that mattered was the cold. Clearly and sharp, got straight to the point. You liked that.  
What you didn't liked was the effect it had on you. The cold was creeping it's way through your damp clothes and made you shiver.  
It's unavoidable through hyperthermia but this idea was getting more and more unpleasant.  
The way of frostbite until hyperthermia was slow and cruel and you didn't know if you could sat it out or how long it would take for you to surrender. You wanted to fall asleep without waking up but your body refused and kept you wake instead. For your dismay.  
Slowly your body began to shake or rather your muscles and you couldn't stop your rattling teeth.  
Actual you never liked the cold except you were proper clothed. In the past you loved to go skiing as a child or building a snowman with your mom and dad. As a kid you loved the snow but not the cold.  
And now you hated it.

Your clothing was never meant to protect you from the cold and now you cursed yourself for your unwariness. The cold crept its way through every fiber and let you shake heavier.Your hands were clammy too and slowly you felt nothing than numbness in your fingertips. Rubbing those were only hurting you.  
Your feet were not better in the slightest. The sneaker you're wearing weren't a good choice either. Neither could they kept the cold outside nor the dampness which were a good advantage for the cold to do the job.  
You didn't know how long you were sitting in this area now but you couldn't rarey feel your toes or fingers. First stage of frostbite was approaching you and you couldn't do anything. How long would it actually take to give you the rest? Would you even notice when your time is over?  
You really hoped this process were going faster.

While you were sitting in the cold snow shaking like some leaves in the wind, you managed to get a look at all of your bruises you got through your fall down. There were some cuts and bruises – some had an alarming color by now – and especially your ankle didn't looked very well either. It was definetely swollen and violet stained. You reached out slowly to touch it careful. Within contact you flinched immediately and the pain shot through your whole body."F..fuck-k!", you cursed loud through clattering teeth. Holy fuck. How did you even walked with this thing when you barely could touch it? Were your adrenaline so strong to suppress such a pain? The throbbing pain in your ankle was still prominent and you had the urge to cool it. Well... you would have cooled it when you weren't in a freezing cold cave full of snow while it's snowing.

 _Chill_ , no need to worry.

With the aid of your little pun the wave of pain slowly died down and you remembered your long-lasting headache from earlier. It wasn't so prominent than before but you couldn't ignore the itchy feeling. You couldn't really locate it without seeing it but you felt with your fingers through your messy hair. Some parts were a bit crusty and you thought that this was some mud or dirt you accidentally received during your ruins expedition. But some parts were getting more crusted and suddenly you felt something damp too. Curious you looked at your fingers what could evoke this odd feeling the whole time.  
Blood.  
Your eyes widened in shock. When your body wouldn't concentrated to get you warm you would've needed every strength not to puke. The urge to do it though was still lingering.

Blood was one of your weaknesses. Not only the loss of too much could kill you but also the sight of blood could make you a fragile mess. To see your own blood was quite unsettling. But managable. Somehow.  
Blood of others in contrast were a different story. You had some encounters in your life and these were a torture and nearly unbearable. Hopefully you wouldn't see any other blood in your whole life. Your short, remaining life.

But now you were the one who lost blood and you weren't aware of how much you lost. Were you bleeding since your fall or..? No, there was no other encounter during your trip and no one or nothing had hit you or got close to your head. That explained your longlasting headache the whole time.  
You hadn't really checked your head after your fall. You left out the obvious.  
This is...

You couldn't quite catch your own thoughts because these circumstances were fighting with your common sense.  
You made it through these ruins with your swollen ankle? Never gonna happen.  
You survived the whole time with a constant blood loss on your head? Not at any time.  
Despite these evident facts, you don't went insane because monster were a thing? You have to be kidding me!  
And now you were sitting in the snow for how-the-heck-you-didn't-know-how-long and freezing to death but you were still alive.  
What's going on with you? In what fucked up cave had you fallen into?  
Oh yeah. Your deep fall into a cave without sudden death? Cut the crap!

Nothing made sense. You were really beginning to question your senses. Or was this the next degree of frostbite?  
It was getting hard to concentrate at all and all of these confusing circumstances weren't really helping.

During your questioning whether your senses were failing you or if this cave was just messed up, you lied down and curled up into a fetal position. Every now and then you muttered through your clettering teeth how your whole situation was more then fucked up and that nothing made sense.  
You could accept your death now.

 

\----

It's a dreadful day outside.  
No birds are singing, no flowers are blooming.  
On days like these, humans like you...

Should be dying in solitude.

\----

 

Time went by little by little and sometime your muscles went still. Even your teeth weren't clattering anymore. You were lying still in the snow, barely feeling the cold and barely registering your surroundings.  
You were kinda calm actual.

Maybe you excepted your faith. Maybe you excepted that you were dying finally.  
It was a slow and more painful way as you thought in the first place but still. You were finally getting your wish to end your miserable life and meet your beloved family.  
What a sight that would be! United again, without any fears and without bearing something shitty called life.  
You closed your eyes with one last breath and letting go of everything.  
This felt right. It has to be.

It didn't mattered anymore that you felt so much pain in your life.  
It didn't mattered anymore that you barely could feel your limbs or your body in general.  
It didn't really mattered that there was no sound despite some crunching snow in front of you.  
It didn't mattered who caused this and even the sound of a very low voice which you barely and all but on the brink of your unconsciousness recognized didn't even mattered to you right now. It's all over now.

"...never saw someone smiling while their dying. ...you're one of the strange ones, kid"


End file.
